Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Food "Sensitivities"

It looks like poor Lulu is having "sensitivity" to some foods.  UGH. When we started solids with her, we weren't very careful in keeping track of what she was eating and did not follow the 3 day rule.  Bad mommy.  Really, it wasn't on my radar since things had gone fine with Cy, and there aren't any food allergies on either side of the families.

Well, a few weeks into solid eating, Lu slowly developed a pretty nasty rash on her face.  I initially thought it was due to drool (and imminent teething).  The rash kept getting worse, and spread to under her chin.  I still thought it was teething.  When she started to get a few spots on her arms, I thought maybe it wasn't teething. Duh.  In the interim, she was enjoying lots of yummy things: bananas, avocado, sweet potato, pears, peaches, even cherries.  Whoops. 

I took her to the doctor to have her checked, and she said she thought it was a sensitivity to something she was eating.  She advised that we stop ALL solids until the rash was healed.  Then she said to introduce one item at a time, waiting 5 to 6 days in between each.  Oh my.  I was pretty sure that the oatmeal cereal we were feeding to her was not the culprit, so I went against orders and continued the oatmeal while she healed. (Cortisone is amazing, by the way!)  The rash was gone in a few days, and I started with pears as her first trial food, assuming that this would be the least allergenic food to try.  WRONG.  I gave her the pears on Friday, and by Sunday the rash started to come back on her face.  Damn.  Who is actually allergic to pears?  

So, now we are waiting for this rash to heal before starting another food, but I'm concerned for my baby girl.  How can she have a "sensitivity" to pears?!?!?!  Odd.  I'm worried about what to start her on next.  Making it worse, one of the girls at daycare said her rash looked exactly like that of one of the older kids who has a TON of allergies.  I don't want this path for my little munchkin, but I guess it's out of my hands.  We will try sweet potatoes next, and are keeping our fingers crossed.  I suppose some Benadryl wouldn't be a bad thing to have on hand, either.  

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


I feel like I've been in a bit of a funk lately.  It comes and goes, but always seems to be underlying.  I don't know why.  It's putting a bit of a strain between Matt and I, which is just not cool.  I think it is just the stress of having two kids and working full time.  

I'm having a tough time finding the balance.  I'm having a tough time staying present and enjoying life.  I feel like I spend a lot of time either "planning" or "doing", and that I can't just relax.  I really need to work on this, cause I think it's just making me cranky.  I'm finding that the yoga does help, but I don't have enough time to do it more than once a week.  I know that the first year of having a baby is the hardest one (at least it was the first time around), and that this will pass....but I really just want to snap out of it.  I'm TRYING...I really am. What I can't figure out is WHY I'm not happier than I am.  I should be.  I have an awesome husband (who puts up with a lot of my crap!), two really great kids, a job that I really like, a nice house, etc.  These things should add up to elation, right?  Maybe I just need some sleep and perspective.  Maybe I should just stop complaining.

SO...on a happier note, the kids and I had a great day on Friday.  It was warm outside, and a little water play was called for.  They loved it.  I love watching them "play" together.  Those moments really are the best of times.  

Bathing suit beauty

My sweet and happy boy

Happy kids in the pool

Monday, June 18, 2012


Oh my.  I really need some decent sleep.  

Lulu is wonderful.  Really.  She is.  I couldn't ask for a better baby.  But, damn!  I really want a good night's sleep sometime soon.  I think I've had ONE full night's sleep since she was born.  (And I know I didn't have many in that last trimester).  She usually wakes up once a night to eat, sometimes two. I think I was getting used to this schedule, but the past week has been hard.  I don't know if it's because we've been really busy, but I just don't feel rested.  

I make sure to go to bed by 9 every night...and last night I was in bed at 8!!!  But, I'm still tired, and it's making me cranky.  GRRRR.

I guess it's about time to think about cutting off the night feeds, but I don't know if I'm ready for that.  What a wuss.  I guess until I bite the bullet on that one, I have to stop complaining about sleep.  

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Secret Fears

I've been having much more fear and doubt since the birth of our second child.  I really can't figure out if this is just hormones or really part of me.  I didn't feel these things after Cy was born.  I might have been too stressed out to notice these things back then.  I was really just in survival mode.  I think the reality of the situation is that the more happiness you get in life, the more you realize how miserable you would be without those things that make you so happy.  It's easy for some of these things to move to the back of my mind during the busy parts of the day, but when I have a moment to stop and reflect, they can creep in.

I fear that I'm becoming boring
I spend most of my time either working or taking care of my kids.  I don't have great conversations lately, and really don't have much to talk about (outside of my kids).  I seem to remember that before the kids came along, I was fun.  It doesn't always feel like that lately.  

I fear that something tragic will happen to Matt or one of the kids
This fear borders on the irrational side, but when I think of it realistically....almost any bad thing could happen at any time.  I know this all too well, remember that Cy and I were hit by a car as pedestrians?!?!? I try to use this as a reminder to savor every day and to take the time to enjoy what I am doing at the moment because you never know when it will be taken away.  I don't always succeed at this, and I get very scared.  I really don't know what I would do if I lost one of them.  How do you continue living after a tragedy occurs?  How would I raise my kids without Matt?  It makes me teary just thinking about it.

I fear that something will be terminally wrong with my children
Again, I never felt like this when Cy was born, but since Lu was born, I have an intense fear that one of them will get terminally sick (either cancer or some freak illness).  I don't know where this comes from, but it definitely plays into my germaphobia.  I don't know how I would survive the death of a child, but furthermore, I don't know how I would parent the surviving child.  

I fear that I won't know my role in life once my children are grown
I know that I have many years until this issue will arise, but I think about it alot.  The kids are at a stage in life where they are very needy.  I'm used to this, and comfortable with it.  I know that they will slowly become more and more independent beings as time goes on.  I realize that the goal is to raise confident and strong children who will contribute to society.  I know this means they will be grown ups someday and move away from home.  As much as I long for the "pre-baby" days of spontaneity and date nights and travel, I'm saddened knowing that they won't be a part of my everyday life forever.  When I'm not a "mom" anymore (at least on a day to day basis), what will I be? 

I fear that I'm not a great mom
I think most moms must fear this.  I feel like this is a normal fear.  This role defines so much of my being right now, and I want to do a great job.  I want to be there emotionally for my kids, and to teach them everything I can.  It's easy to get distracted by the small stuff and let the worry take over.  Am I doing the right thing for my kids?  Am I making the right decisions?  Will they love me?  Will they love each other?  Will they turn out okay? Should I do more, should I do less?  It's really enough to drive a person crazy.

I fear that if I spend too much of my time being afraid of things, I will miss out on LIVING LIFE.  I'm trying to chill out and to just have fun.  I'm really trying.  I've been doing yoga, which really helps a lot.  I'm trying to quiet the fears and concentrate on the great parts of my life.  And there are so many of them.  I am thankful for that, and have to remember it more often.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Second Child Syndrome?

When I had my daughter, I was worried about what kind of mother I would be to her.  I was keenly aware that she would not be raised the same as my son and thought for some reason this meant she was being "cheated" out of something.  

Six months into it, I realize that while things are different for her, this is might not be such a negative after all.  I am a much more confident mother now, and I think she definitely benefits from that.  She also has my son to entertain her.  She has constant attention from him, and never has the chance to just "sit" and be bored.  I think that if Cy had constant activity around him, he might have been less demanding of us.  I thought that she would miss not going to all of the classes that we did with Cy, but looking back, it appears that those were more for us (or me) than they were for him.  I think he really liked going to the Music Together classes, but I definitely see that it was something for me to "do" with him.  Lu is happy to sit at home and listen to music with us, watching Cy dance around.  

She is so much more easy going than my son.  I don't know if it's because she is a girl, or second born, or just her personality.  My pediatrician suggested that most of the "difficulty" of the first born is actually just the baby feeding off of the parents' anxiety.  If that is the case, I feel badly for Cy, cause I was mega stressed out by him!  In retrospect, I really didn't handle being a first time mom very well.  I loved him more than anything, but most of my memories of that time involve stress, anxiety, and extreme fatigue. He was the we learned to parent.  I guess we should really feel badly for the poor first borns, not the second child.

Meanwhile, Lu is the sweetest thing, and she has all of us wrapped around her little finger.  I'm pretty sure this means we are going to pay for it big time when she is a teenager!  Yikes!  She is patient, she is calm, she is so happy.  

I have come to terms with knowing that both kids have had different experiences to this point, and that it is okay.  They have each other now, and are very lucky.  

Happy girl at 6 months old:

Partners in crime (not napping!)

Monday, June 11, 2012

Busy Weekend

This weekend was incredibly busy, but fun!  We had Tball with Cy on Saturday morning, followed by a birthday party in the afternoon.  It's so much fun watching all of Cy's friends turn 4!

On Sunday, Cy participated in the PMC Bike Ride for kids to raise money for the Jimmy Fund.  He had so much fun and really enjoyed the day.

He got his first Tattoo (a sparkly red dinosaur!)

And was ready for the "race" to start (we had to keep reminding him it was a RIDE, not a race!)

The rest of the day on Sunday was really nice and relaxing.  We got out the baby pool and let Cy splash around and Lu dipped her feet into it.  He plays so nicely with was really fun to watch.  

I made it to yoga class again, which is great!  I've really enjoyed being able to do that on Sunday evenings.  I really wish I could go one more time during the week, but it just doesn't work into our schedule yet.  Baby steps.

For some reason (I wish I could figure out why!!), it seems like Sunday nights are the worst night for sleep in our house.  Most nights, Lu sleeps from 7 until 6 or 6:30, waking only once to eat around 1:30ish.  Last night, she was awake at 9:30, 12, 3, and 5!!!  (Throw in the mix that Cy was up at 11pm...sleep walking!)  She only wanted to eat once out of those wakings.  The others were crying because she was "stuck" in the crib.  She's been moving around alot, and gets here legs stuck in between the slats of the crib.  I'm seriously considering getting some bumpers for the crib to stop this, but figure she will be out of this stage before long anyway.  I'm not sure, since Cy never got stuck...his legs were just too darned chunky to fit,  I think!

Here's to another sleepy Monday morning (Oh, and did I mention that I am off coffee since it seems to make Miss Lu jittery!?!?!).  UGH.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

My leg hurts!

Ever since Cy could talk, he's been using the phrase "my leg hurts" to get attention.  When he first started doing it, we didn't make the connection, but the more it happened, it became more clear.  When the pain would migrate from leg to leg during the same complaining session, we knew!  There have been many occasions, but the one that sticks in my memory clearly was the time I was making dinner, and he wanted me to play with him instead.  He cried and complained about his leg for almost 20 minutes.  It's really quite a manipulative move for him to have learned so early.

He hasn't done this for a while, so when he cried out at 11pm last night, it caught me off guard.  He was sobbing and telling me that his leg hurt.  The poor thing.  It really does tear at my heartstrings, and I wish there were a way to tell if something was really wrong with him.  I sat and rubbed his leg for a few minutes, and told him to try to go back to sleep.  I'm pretty confident that nothing was wrong with his leg, and I guess we might not ever know....but I really wish he wouldn't do that during the night!

In other news, Lu did great last night.  She only woke up once to eat, and didn't get "stuck" from rolling over.

Seems like when one kid sleeps well, the other one doesn't.  I can't win. I really need a good night's sleep soon.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Random thoughts for the week

This week is rough (and it's only Tuesday!).  I'm tired.  I'm at the tail end of a cold (that I originally thought was just allergies).  Probably a small version of what Lu had for the past two weeks.

Miss Lu is a rolling over champion!  Yeah!  But, she does it at night, and gets stuck in parts of her crib, and needs help. Boo!  Just when she is starting to space out feedings, this happens.  I swear, it feels like I will never have an uninterrupted night's sleep again.

We are phasing out Cy's nap time.  It's a tough decision, but he's had trouble going to sleep at night for the past few weeks.  So, we are letting him sleep for one hour if he needs it, and enforcing 1 hour of quiet time if he doesn't.  Although I miss those two hours, this route seems to be improving his night time sleeping.

The difference in Cy's "play" is dramatic.  Over the past few months, I've noticed how much his imagination has grown, and how well he is independently playing.  He loves to role-play with action figures and make them have conversations.  It is really cute, and fun to play along with him.

They make single serve formula!  Hooray!  We are going to need to start supplementing Lu with about 2-3 ounces per day, and this is perfect.  I was worried about opening a can and having it expire (one month after opening) before using it all. I really hope she drinks it without too much trouble....

Lulu is determined to drive me crazy with the eating.  She desperately wants to eat what we are eating.  She almost attacked my water glass last night until I let her have some.  If I try purees or cereal, she closes her mouth and turns her face.  If I persist, she gets really aggravated.  Well, I suppose she couldn't be easy with everything!  So, I'm trying the Baby Led Weaning thing, and giving her real foods.  I still use one of those mesh food feeders, cause she can't grasp the food very well, and she seems to like it.  We've done banana, avocado, and watermelon.  Tonight we'll try some sweet potato.  It all seemed like so much more fun the first time around (but Cy was very easy and enthusiastic about eating).

Overall, things are going pretty well.  I've felt that the past few weeks were really touch and go, and felt a little edgy or "off".  Not sure exactly why.  Things feel a little better now, so maybe it was just a phase.