Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Second Child Syndrome?

When I had my daughter, I was worried about what kind of mother I would be to her.  I was keenly aware that she would not be raised the same as my son and thought for some reason this meant she was being "cheated" out of something.  

Six months into it, I realize that while things are different for her, this is might not be such a negative after all.  I am a much more confident mother now, and I think she definitely benefits from that.  She also has my son to entertain her.  She has constant attention from him, and never has the chance to just "sit" and be bored.  I think that if Cy had constant activity around him, he might have been less demanding of us.  I thought that she would miss not going to all of the classes that we did with Cy, but looking back, it appears that those were more for us (or me) than they were for him.  I think he really liked going to the Music Together classes, but I definitely see that it was something for me to "do" with him.  Lu is happy to sit at home and listen to music with us, watching Cy dance around.  

She is so much more easy going than my son.  I don't know if it's because she is a girl, or second born, or just her personality.  My pediatrician suggested that most of the "difficulty" of the first born is actually just the baby feeding off of the parents' anxiety.  If that is the case, I feel badly for Cy, cause I was mega stressed out by him!  In retrospect, I really didn't handle being a first time mom very well.  I loved him more than anything, but most of my memories of that time involve stress, anxiety, and extreme fatigue. He was the experiment....how we learned to parent.  I guess we should really feel badly for the poor first borns, not the second child.

Meanwhile, Lu is the sweetest thing, and she has all of us wrapped around her little finger.  I'm pretty sure this means we are going to pay for it big time when she is a teenager!  Yikes!  She is patient, she is calm, she is so happy.  

I have come to terms with knowing that both kids have had different experiences to this point, and that it is okay.  They have each other now, and are very lucky.  

Happy girl at 6 months old:

Partners in crime (not napping!)

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