Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day Faker

Happy Mother's Day!  If you are a Mom, I hope you are enjoying the day that was set aside to make you feel loved and appreciated.

I have to admit, I'm faking my way through today.  I try to live my life without expectation, because those get me in trouble....but damnit, I'm feeling like today is just like every other day, and I wish it were a little more special. What's even worse is I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for that.
I know that being a mom to small kids means a bunch of personal sacrifice....I get it, but I'd still like to have a day of "Wow, thanks for all that you do"

I took an extra long shower that was nice, but I spent most of it crying. 
Everything else has been like a regular Sunday, although the weather is truly spectacular....making the playground really enjoyable.

I'm not really one to whine or complain, I just wanted to get that off my chest without starting a really big argument, and this is the best place to do that. 
I wish I could just snap out of it today and just enjoy the fact that my kids are happy, healthy, and that they are really sweet (when they are not driving me bat-shit-crazy).  

I'm going to go snuggle my boy as he rests on the sofa before I blink and he's in high school.
Thanks for listening.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014


I heard this quote many years ago, and it has always stayed with me....I repeat it to myself whenever I have to deal with people that are giving me a difficult time:

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something"

It helps me to keep perspective.  I was thinking that in order to stick to my theme of the year, I would gather an arsenal of some mantras to keep in mind.  I'm really putting effort into making my life what I want it to be and want

Here are some that I have found that might be helpful at times:


You get the behaviors you reward (I think this is my favorite one...on SO many levels)

In life you will always find what you expect to find. To change the world, I change my expectations

I am the power, the master and the cause of my attitude, feelings, emotions and behavior

I am not who I’m going to be. I am always becoming

I am thankful for what I have, even if it’s not perfect

My breaths will be deep and my heart will be open

I’ll release the things out of my control

I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at this

I let go of my fears, worries that drain my energy for no good return

I believe in my ability to unlock the way and set myself free

I am flexible and flowing, open to the new and changing, at peace, and I trust in the process of life. Every moment is a new opportunity to become who I am. I move with life.

I am willing to forgive. Forgiveness of myself and others releases me from the past. Forgiveness is my gift TO me, FOR me. I forgive, and I am free

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

New Year's Un-resolutions

I suppose I'm a little behind on this post...maybe I'm a little behind on blogging....maybe I'm a little behind on life.
I don't really do resolutions for the New Year.  I first did this exercise two years ago, and I thought it was a great way to put thought and direction into life without being so strict as goal setting.  Life is too busy and too crazy to put an additional burden of "accomplishing more" and I'm too Type A to deal with more stuff right now, so this was a fun way for me to feel like I'm starting the year fresh without having to "do" much but just think. 

Theme:  Intentional. Live on Purpose!
I started to think about this at the end of last year, and I really want to focus on it more this year. I want to live well and on purpose.  I want my actions to be deliberate and on purpose, not a byproduct of anything else.  I want to know that I am living the life that I want to live and that I am the designer of that life. 

Phrase: "One Life, Live It"
I had seen this on a Jeep one day while I was out running errands, and it really struck me.  I guess it's a simple phrase, and simple is ties in well with my theme for the year.  I am going to take the bull by the horns this year!  Yes! I am not waiting for tomorrow....I am going to live in the moment, love with my whole heart and experience all that life has to offer.

Color: Green
This was the most difficult one ...and probably the most frivolous and silly part of my exercise, but I put a lot of thought into it.  I almost chose blue, but when I looked into it further, green just aligned better with what I wanted to feel for the year.
I looked up the meaning of colors and here is part of what I found that helped me to make my decision:

"Green is the color of balance and harmony and growth. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium between the head and the heart. From a meaning of colors perspective, green is also the color of growth, the color of spring, of renewal and rebirth. It renews and restores depleted energy. It is the sanctuary away from the stresses of modern living, restoring us back to a sense of well being. Green is an emotionally positive color, giving us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. 

Being a combination of yellow and blue, green encompasses the mental clarity and optimism of yellow with the emotional calm and insight of blue, inspiring hope and a generosity of spirit not available from other colors. This color relates to stability and endurance, giving us persistence and the strength to cope with adversity."

Thursday, August 29, 2013

My Kindergartner!!

Today starts your academic career!!!  I'm so proud to be your mom.  You are an energetic and full of life boy.  You have been a spitfire since the day you were born, and I love every inch of you.

I'm feeling a little more emotional today than I thought I would.  I am remembering the day that we brought you home from the hospital, and how scared I was at the responsibility of parenting you.  It makes me laugh a little today to think about you swaddled into a perfect little bundle, looking so sweet, and how I felt so scared.  Now I know that the scariest parts come much later.  I've relaxed into my role of being your mom, and enjoy my time with you.  You are witty, curious, and ebullient!  (I just like that word...but you ARE!)

Enjoy your time in school.  Soak it all in and make the best of your time.  I hope you continue to have a love for learning and that you will fondly look back on this time.  I told you this morning "Cyrus, the world is your oyster".  You asked what an oyster was....totally ruined the sentiment (but made me laugh).  I love you.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


There is something new going on.  It is wonderful and making life feel amazing. 
I probably won't go into describing it any more than that.....but I just had to share how just damned great life is right now.