So, I had a therapy session. She says I have postpartum depression.
I don't feel like I'm going to harm my kids. I don't even really feel depressed. I feel anxious and edgy a lot, overwhelmed at times. I am snapping at my husband more than I should. I feel like I'm having trouble adjusting to life with 2 kids. I keep waiting for it to get easier. I feel like I'm riding a hormone roller coaster.
The worst part is that I feel bad for feeling this way. I never felt like this when I had my son. My daughter is an easier baby than he was, so why is it harder this time? I feel like I should be able to handle this better.
I feel isolated, and that I want to isolate myself even more so people don't see my weakness.
I almost didn't publish this post. Why is there such shame associated with this? Why does it make me feel like a failure? I know why people don't talk about this very much, cause I don't want to talk about it either. I'm lucky to have a really supportive husband who urged me to call my doctor.
If you feel any of the symptoms, please don't feel shame in asking for help. Feeling better and being the best mom to my kids that I can is my goal, and for this, I can swallow my pride and get some help. I have lots of excuses to not get help: I don't have time, I really don't need the help, this will pass, things will get better, I should just suck it up and deal. I have 2 very good reasons to get help: