Friday, April 30, 2010

It doesn't take much

I guess it doesn't take much to get me going these days....I was buying a few things for my son today at Old Navy (Size 3T!!!) and the cashier asked me why I had a cast on.  I told her I was hit by a car, and she said "Oh my, I know someone who just got hit by a car and they DIED!".  Um, thanks.  Yikes.  Do I need to think about this ALL of the time?!?!  So when I got in my car, I broke down and cried and thought about what I would have done if my son would have died.  I don't want to die, but I surely don't want him to die.  I really need to figure out how I'm going to deal with this as he gets older.  I think that time heals things to a certain degree, but I feel like this might stick with me for a while.  How am I going to let him have the freedom to "be a kid" without having panic attacks about his safety?  How do parents deal with this stuff? 

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately that are written by mothers that have lost a child.  Is this helping me?  Not really.  I feel oddly drawn in to their stories, and very moved by their experience.  It hasn't helped me to deal with my situation,  but I think it adds to the stress of knowing you can't always keep your children safe.  Why am I doing this to myself.  Hmm.

On a happier note, we are taking our son to New York this weekend.  Its the furthest he's ever been from home.  Is that pathetic or what?  Either way, it is what it is.  He's not very good in the car (actually, he's not very good much at all lately!), and so we've been kind of wimpy about long car trips.  We are wimping out with this trip as well, and leaving tonight at 7 so that he will sleep for most of the drive.  Baby steps. 
We are taking him to visit his aunt and uncle and to go to the Bronx Zoo!  Its supposed to be gorgeous weather, so hopefully his mood will co-incide.  Not likely, but I can be hopeful!



  1. Hey,long time no speak. How are you feeling? Still in a cast??? I am sorry it's taking so long for you to heal although i am not much better off. After 4 million xrays and an MRI and I having surgery Thursday which will hopefully solve my issue. What wrong with your hand still?
    As for parenting I am more nervous than my wife but it comes to a point where you can't worry yourself to death. You do what you can do protect your child and thats it. I see issues that kids have with overprotective parents in my daughters class and it's not healthy. have fun at the zoo, I took my kids there 2 weeks ago and they loved it!

  2. Well hello there! I'm sorry to hear about your surgery...what a pain. What kind of surgery will it be? I hope it goes well for you!!

    I'm still in a cast, and it will come off on Friday (after 13 weeks!). I was scheduled to have surgery, then the doctor noticed that my bone was starting to heal, so he postponed it. He said it "might" still need surgery if it still causes me pain. I'm not looking forward to the PT that will be needed to get my wrist moving again after 3 months of casting, but I'm trying to stay positive.

    As far as the kiddo stuff goes, I do my best. I definitely don't want to be an overprotective parent. Its no good for anyone involved. Facing the knowledge that you can't always protect your kids from "life" is a tough one. Until I learn how to deal with this best, I just love him and hug him and try to teach him how to embrace life.

    Again, good luck. I hope things go well with your surgery!

  3. Thank you and yes it is a pain to go through all of this again. I am going to be getting a screw of some sort to hold the ligament together. I will have to be in a cast once again which I am really not looking forward to and therapy after that.
    I can't believe you are still in a cast, you are probably going out of your mind! I know how difficult it is to stay positive but you have to and I hope that the bone is healed and no surgery is needed!
    It is a tough one but don't delve on that. You are a great mom and you will do whatever you can to protect him and that is good! You are very involved and loving which is what he needs.
    Thanks, and good luck to you as well and let me know what happens Friday!

  4. Well, how did the surgery go? I hope all is well and that you are on the road to recovery.

    I have my cast off, and it feels very strange. I don't start PT until Wednesday, but I've been trying to stretch and move this darned stiff wrist. Guess I'll have to be patient. (Not my strongest attribute!).

    Hope you are well,

  5. Good morning, surgery was successful thank you for asking. I am glad it's over and it's behind me! I am still in a fair amount of pain and my fingers look like sausages and swollen and in this huge bulky splint that has about 5 times as much padding as the cast,lol but otherwise ok.

    CONGRATS on getting the cast off!!! It must feel amazing after all this time. Patience is tough and I can only imagine how stiff it is. Do you have any pain? I am glad you are healed and hope PT helps!