Nighttime Feeding

It happened to me last night.  I wondered when it would.  I was up at 1:30am for Lulu's night feeding, and I just gazed at her.  I took the time to really look at her and try to remember that cherub of a face.  It's not a time for cameras, but I really wish I had more than memories to preserve this image.  Beautiful.  Really.  So peaceful.

I remember with Cy that I loved the nighttime feedings.  Even though I was exhausted, I always enjoyed the quiet and special alone time with him.  I was really sad when they ended (although, I really enjoyed getting sleep, too!). 

Something struck me last night, and I realized that this time was going to come to an end soon.  I haven't really enjoyed the middle of the night feedings with Lu, and I chalk that up to being more tired with two kids. However, last night, I just wanted to hold her close and not let her go.  I wanted to smell her and look at her and remember how precious this time is.  I know that pretty soon I will have to guide her into sleeping through the night without waking to eat, but something is holding me back.  I'm pretty sure she is ready, and that I am not.  

I guess this is why the "baby" of the family gets babied so much.  The parents are holding onto their "lasts" of each stage.  I don't know which night will be the "last" time I nurse a baby to sleep, but I'm pretty sure it will make me a little sad (even though I'm really looking forward to a full night's sleep!!).